What I've learned in 4 years of marriage....

As of July 26th, 2007, I've been married for four years. Good grief! Where does the time go?

Here's what I've learned in those 4 years:

1. Marriage is not a fairy tale. Once you get engaged, you do not float off into your future on a white cloud, only to encounter rainbows and fluffy bunnies in your future. Rarely do you live "happily ever after." There will always be bumps in the road... but how you handle them dictates whether your marriage will grow stronger or crumble.

2. Your boy will never be as nice or romantic as he was when you were dating. He has you now. He no longer needs to put forth such effort.

3. Your wedding isn't the most important day of your life. It's just one day. The rest of your days together is what matters. Remember that when you freak out about bridesmaid dresses or the catering. Bridezilla is never an attractive look on any female.

4. Most men will only give flowers one special occassions or to say "I'm sorry." If you have a man who does it just because, count your blessings.

5. For that matter, count your blessings if you have a man who says "I'm sorry."

6. Having someone to come home to each night (well, most nights for us Navy gals) is really the most comforting thing about being married.

7. Just when you think your head will explode from anger, your husband will say something stupid or funny, and suddenly you aren't mad anymore.

8. My husband is never as romantic or as free about his feelings as he is when he is 10,000 leagues under the sea. I have the letters as proof! You did say that!

9. To some extent, personal hygiene goes out the window once you are married. I'm no longer concerned about wearing cute, sexy outfits to bed. Don't like my ratty t-shirts? Well, I don't like those pajama pants you've been wearing for the past month. Deal with it.

10. My husband really does know me better than I think he does. I always nag him about how he doesn't know what I like (case in point -- the salt and pepper shakers he got me for my 25th birthday), but then he comes home with the Friends box set, and I realize he was listening to me after all. Of course, a detailed list always helps.

11. Funnily enough, Jason was very independant before we got married. He managed to pay bills, buy groceries, and make appointments on his own. However, he seems to have regressed since our wedding. Oddly enough, he no longer knows where the grocery store is or how to load the dishwasher. Hmmmmm........

A few years back, Oprah had a couple on her show that had been married for 70 years. When she asked them what was the secret to a happy marriage, the husband answered "We were never out of love at the same time." I think that's very true, and it's amazing advice. Love is a verb; it is an action; it is something you do. It's a choice you make every day. You can choose to love and be committed to your spouse. You can choose to stick through the hard times, and the times where you just don't feel "in love" anymore. The feeling of falling "in love" may fade but the action of love, if you chose, does not.

In closing, I'm very happy and very lucky to have found such a wonderful husband. Here's to many more years of marriage!